An invitation to the launch of the 27th title of Collection Maurice
It’s the 15th of December, at 5.50 pm we enter the Hennessy Park Hotel parking. “Let’s go back home. I don’t want to go inside. I am not in my element here,” I then said to my husband, with a stirring sensation in my gut. I was simply emotional, overawed, not quite sure what was going on. Is it a dream, perhaps a prank, or am I hallucinating, I then thought, with those butterflies still swarming in my tummy. Suddenly I was overwhelmed with the type of feeling that made me want to run away, because that thing seemed too grand for me, too impressive, and I, I have felt so little for all of these years, practically invisible, paving that way all alone, trying to prove to myself that I can, over and over again, and that my mental fragility can’t rob me of the person that I have always been before my fall in the pit of depression; and now, this, now, my name alongside the greatest name of the Mauritian literary circle… I just couldn’t believe that I was there, and that I was writing a new positive chapter of my life.
After that my husband reassured me, we went inside, and a lady welcomed me to the author’s table; there she gave me the book in which my story has been published for the 27th title of Collection Maurice, a trilingual book (French-English-Creole) that has as English title ‘undercover’. Now I can… can I, you think? Be at ease with calling myself an author? Would they now understand what I really do, what is my passion, and how writing saved me from the obscurity so as to lead me towards the light… can you now understand?
I was sitting there amongst the great, those enlightening minds of the Mauritian literary circle, and I just couldn’t believe that I was in the same room, as well as in the same book anthology as those whom I often see on television, read in newspapers or magazines, hear on the radio — those respected authors whose writings are so wonderful and so enlightening.
I was so awestruck that I completely forgot that I am a creative writer’s lifestyle blogger, and that taking photos for this blog is a must for me, to record and share my journey as a self-taught writer is my mission. I’ve completely forgotten to capture that important day of my writer’s life so much I was in a dumbstruck catatonic state, paralyzed with a high dose of wonderment, but also, of fulfillment. Sadly I haven’t been able to make the most out of this opportunity, on the other hand I kept worrying about whether I’ll look good on their photos or video cameras😅.
Nothing is won yet, but I can add this experience and accomplishment to my bio and curriculum vitae. Somehow I feel that I have upgraded to the next level of my journey as a self-taught writer, which was on my plan all along the way.
It boosted my writing confidence
Lately, since going through the nightmare of re-editing Darcocyte, I had lost all confidence in my writing abilities. I was stuck with thoughts that I was a mediocre writer, and that my blog was only fake pages written by a clown. I was unable to get myself out of this failure, and my mind was again a horrible place filled with angst, where destruction was taking over because I felt that I was not good enough to create fiction and poems. My morale was very low.
I had challenged myself to build organic SEO based on Google Search Quality Evaluator Guidelines E-A-T (Expertise, Authoritativeness, Trustworthiness), but when this all happened, when my grammatical errors and bad syntaxes unraveled in front of my eyes, deep inside I felt that I had compromised my own trustworthiness. I just couldn’t take it.
But then my story has been chosen for the publication of Collection Maurice after that I had taken part in the writing competition organized by immedia. I am amongst three other new authors whose story has been chosen, and where we were all invited for the launch of the book collection. I listened happily and emotionally as summaries of the short stories written by ‘new authors’, including mine, was being read; and I was overwhelmed with joy when I took the group photo alongside the other authors, though I didn’t know which camera I needed to face😂; but I was also stunned and a little bit panic when I was asked for my first autograph🤗.
Though it all seemed impressive to me, I love that game, for it has boosted my writing confidence. I want to continue submitting to the various Mauritian writing competition, and I hope that next time I will be more at ease, more present, and more active to take photos for the blog, or even to connect with other authors.
As for you dear reader, I hope that you never lose hope, I hope that you continue your way with that needed patience, boldness, and enthusiasm; I hope, that you won’t give up so easily.