In the night-time I dreamed that I was at a wedding ceremony on the celestial plane. The bride was beautiful, she had a wreath of flowers on her head, and she wore an ivory lace dress. On the other hand, the bridegroom was a gigantic energy being, same as the others that were present. During the whole ceremony I held my two manuscripts tightly against my heart. And after it was over, they all surrounded the blue planet, and they showered blessings, hearts, fruits and vegetables, money, flowers, and lots of petals; as for the mortal bride, she threw some very big roasted meat😂… but the celestial beings didn’t seem to care at all. And I, I was still holding against my chest the manuscript of Darcocyte and my book of poems, all the while good vibrations beamed out from the hands of these celestial beings. Afterwards, they all receded into darkness, perhaps, so as to obscure their presence.
Last night, right before going to bed, I watched the end of a movie and as well as a mini documentary which had for main theme spirituality – and I did this all the while tightly holding my two manuscripts against my heart, and I guess that’s from where stems this very weird dream, the strangeness of this ongoing peculiar time, I guess.
Thing is, yesterday I received the manuscript of both Darcocyte and my book of poems, and I couldn’t stop myself from being exhilarated and from expressing all of the happiness I felt. I held these manuscripts as if they were real babies, kissing them, and even having them on my bedside for the night… yes, I know, that’s a bit too extreme and crazy😂, but I tend to get very eccentric when I am overly happy.
I know that nothing is won yet, but I just couldn’t stop admiring them while thinking about these last seven years of hard work, and of neglecting so many things, to the point of not wanting to go out so as to be able to finish these books. I poured all my heart and what remains of my love in these two books just to be able to find myself once more. I have shed so many tears, made so many mistakes, been so dramatic and alienated, but I think that I did it, I think that I was able to find a purpose that passionate me enough to be again.
I feel that I am a little bit more emotionally prepared for whatever comes my way. I am so excited that I am unable to focus properly while writing… my mind is stirring up, my thoughts are fuzzing in all directions, I am thinking a thousand things at the same time, and I guess that it’s making me physically and mentally tired — I need some good rest, and perhaps go out more.
Now that I know that it takes so much time and efforts to understand and to learn this whole digital thing, I want to focus more my efforts and energy towards making the necessary offline connections, for as an anonymous quote says: “The comfort zone is nothing else but a graveyard for your dreams & ideas,” where it might be true or not; for me it is somehow true, thus I guess that if these doors are closed for me, whether intentionally or not, it means that they are closed for a specific reason.
P.S: I’ve written this post on the go, so if ever you find any type of grammatical errors or any other type of mistakes, please do comment below. Thank you.