Cutout of bowl of clay set on a dark blue painting with gold dots.

Clay

Clay

I used to abhor so many things
Before my coming out of the dark
Where I was asleep and hypnotised
Secluded in a tight dark cell, recoiled

Now that I think that winter and summer 
All seasons, things, happenings, are spells
I mingle myself in dreams made by others
I’m a wisp of smoke in the mist of illusions

My state of abhorrence was flushed away
In the stream where tears and hate clash 
Inside of that obscure evacuating pipeline
Found somewhere outside Earth’s cosmos

Now I look at abhorrent things differently
With new eyes shining with curiosity
And with this inexplicable understanding
Of the triggering mechanism of existence

But though I know that I know nothing
With humble heart I assert through this poem 
That what I perceive behind these brown eyes
Is the coming to light of dreams that unfold

I used to abhor so many things in this life
But now it seems that these don’t mean a thing
For even my feelings were all made up specks
Flowing and ebbing from a mind full of shapes.

-Eiravel-

//

It’s the last line of the poem that inspired the title — for that mind keeps shaping me as if I’m clay, like all of these things deemed as abhorrent. Yet, ‘That what I perceive behind these brown eyes/ Is the coming to light of dreams that unfold’, thus what I came to ask myself after that I wrote this poem was, how can I reshape myself into something new?

The one-word prompt taken from the dictionary to inspire myself for this poem was the word ‘abhor’, which means to hate a kind of behaviour or way of thinking, especially because you think it is morally wrong. But I didn’t want to write a poem with negative connotation, I wanted my flow of words to give way to the type of enlightenment that I want to achieve, or that I grasp, but that I still can’t seem to be able to put in practice.

Cutout of bowl of clay set on a dark blue painting with gold dots.

I have also chosen among a collection of creative artistic collage I made about dreams this mixed-media Dadaesque creative art to accompany the poem. I painted the background cobalt blue with golden dots made with an almost dried up nail polisher, with the cutout of a bowl made of clay. The whole thing for me is a metaphor for enlightenment.

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