Everything seems more beautiful when you’re self-aware

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Awareness In Times Of Chaos

Awareness is a form of meditation that triggers inspiration, and all other positive emotions. Awareness, I believe, is the most powerful and sane experience that a living being can have, though I’ve never understood why it is so difficult to attain, but also, why is it so difficult for us to grasp and understand.

To be aware is to be one with everything and every living being; to be aware is our true nature, an experience that brings us nearer to what’s cosmic and astral. Since I learned about this term I have devoured every books I found on the subject, while practicing the exercise of paying close attention to my thoughts, feelings, actions, body, things, my surrounding, nature, and everything else, for I wanted to be mentally fit as to be able to better manage my disastrous emotions, stress and anxieties, and chaotic thoughts; but sadly, even though I know how to practice awareness… the mundane, my responsibilities and chores, my recidivist ego, time, my folle-attitude, and my impatience, all draw me away from remembering to take the time to be attentive in the moment (just like now, when I’m re-editing this post. I’m attentive to each bit of thought and flow of words. Going slowly, but surely).

But I try as much as possible to practice awareness daily, well at least remember to remember how I feel when I’m into it, which is blissful, because, the moment that bird with the memory of awareness escapes, I fall again into that void where nothing grows, where it’s too dark to see, where it’s cold and empty, and where time flies away quickly. And when you can’t see with your own eyes all of the subliminal things that surround us (like nature, all the lovely hearts and beautiful minds, and which you only become fully aware of through paying close attention), then we disconnect to that thread that leads us to the heart of life, to that cosmic harmony that bonds each single being to one another through the love connection, to fall on that side where we can’t see, that place filled with chaos.

I also failed in the beginning of my practice because there were too many uncomfortable things that surfaced within me, thus I wanted to abandon that mental exercise which was starting to mess up my brain, while accepting the fact that I’m not one of these monks or priests, or any other wonderful person who dedicate their life to the practice of self-mastery in remote and peaceful areas of the world… I knew that it was not my path, for it is a path of dedication, patience, compassion, empathy, and understanding, and I, I only have minimal good and positive qualities, I only have Earthly legacies.

But then, it was too late to go back to my former self… I was in the heart of it, and the message was either I find a way to continue, or else stop and die, or lose my mind… thus I had to find my way at all cost amidst that chaotic and pressured life, find the right balance that would save me from drowning in a fathomless sea.

I knew that I had to practice awareness at the very heart of the cacophony and chaos that constitute this time we live in, thus exercised my mind during these little moment where I slipped into attentiveness while listening to music, reading, writing, or even cooking and washing dishes, hanging the laundry, and contemplating nature from my window… and where I was finally able to experience It… no! I don’t think that it was a mere evanescent glimpse… it really was the experience of It.

If you’re interested, here’s a little exercise for you to start being aware of nature (note that this is not a witchy thing to contemplate and admire nature; the deity you pray to won’t send you to hell for contemplating and acknowledging its gifts), which is a mental exercise that helps to supercharge my creative energy, while giving me the necessary enthusiasm to go write something. For you to be aware of nature, put yourself in any position that you want — and because most of us are stuck at home due to the pandemic or any other type of turbulence, we’ll choose to look up at the sky, to observe it deeply… you look at that sky as if you were seeing it for the first time, with appreciative eyes, and then the clouds enter in that dance, and you find yourself being locked all together in a strange emotional way — the moment you feel that otherworldly feeling, that strangeness, a feeling that you’ve never felt before, a feeling that you can’t name or describe; and at last, if you feel your whole body vibrate, or feel like crying out of joy, then, it is It, it is Awareness.

And then you continue every day, and your feelings become more and more intense with each gaze, then, it’s not you that carry that sky and the clouds in your heart, but it’s the sky and clouds that carry you. Serendipity then enter inside of your dance, and beautiful things start to happen randomly, like for example: as soon as you look up at the sky, birds chirp, beautiful birds fly by, butterflies flutter nearby, wonderful creatures are drawn to you, the clouds morph into beautiful heavenly shapes, the stars blink at you… you start to matter, you start to get better, you start to understand. And little by little that heart of yours morphs, grows, begins to really beat in unison.

And as for a writer, or for any other artist and creative, imagination blends and suffuses with this awareness of existence, and inspiration ignites, your enthusiasm is recharged. Isn’t it wonderful and delicious to feel such kind of wonderment and oneness with nature? It really is.

Awareness of nature helps capture beauty in the moment.

I just experienced enthusiasm right now, while writing this blogpost. Have to say that my energy of these last days was wasted by doing a lot of thinking, thus I was kind of struggling to write a blog post for tomorrow. But then I focused on the sound of the wind — for it’s a very windy day today… and there, my creative battery was recharged with the energy that comes from nature, and I knew right away what to write.

We are right now in the horrific clutches of chaos, pandemia, divisions, alienation, death, threats, and strange happenings; the human collective consciousness is going through troubling times — it’s being felt, though we can’t name it; torn apart, ripped, tested, we feel it deep inside of our core, all of these events that portend bad omens, negativity, destruction… and creativity is going through some bad times because of these fear mongering situations.

We’re locking ourselves inside of that prison of fear where positivity cannot bloom. The hardship of change, this shift, is turning us into something else, and we are forgetting to tap into the peaceful energy of nature.

Remember awareness, remember to contemplate or pay close attention to our surrounding, be attentive, look outside and be marvelled by the miracle we all form part of… feel that! Dammit… feel that peace, the love, this connection… and I promise you that you’ll feel peaceful in these times of chaos.

Sincerely yours. Nature.

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