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If I Had Abandoned

And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it.

Paulo Coelho – ‘The alchemist’

Driven by passion and determination.”

If I had abandoned I wouldn’t have been on the verge of finishing writing this chapter of my life as to begin a new one; I wouldn’t have been able to finish a novel of 69,000 words, have writen all of these blogposts, have a poetry book in editing phase, I wouldn’t have progressed; if I had abandoned I wouldn’t have happily watched my plans take shape slowly, but surely.

If I had abandoned I do think that I would still have been stuck in a life of misery. Without any dreams to cling to, or without any visions of an exciting future, nothing would have grown in me, I would have died inside, I would have surely looked like a zombie.

If I had abandoned I wouldn’t have awakened every morning with the thoughts of progressing, of going somewhere; and I wouldn’t have gone to bed every night with the sentiment of having accomplished something, and this, no matter how small it might have been. In a word, my life would have been dull, without any motivation and aspiration to keep me joyfully going while focusing on a healthy and happy life.

If I had abandoned I would have lived an unhealthy life, where I would have perhaps completely lost my mind; I would have been drifting on frightful, lonely oceans; running with fairies, depressed, and filled with angst and anguish. I would have lived a life without purpose, I would have stopped listening to music, singing (no matter how falsely I sing), or even dance, I would have stopped watching television and movies too — damn, I would have clearly been a total wreck, my life, a complete mess.

If I had abandoned I don’t think that I would have learned terms such as self-motivation, self-conviction, self-analysis, self-help, focus, self-taught. I don’t think that I would have regained such trust and faith in life, and I don’t think that I would have been so hungry for life again. Looking at everything that I’ve done till now gives me back all of this trust that I had lost in myself. And even though the level of hardships, I know that it will be well worth it.

If I had abandoned there would have been no positive change in my life. My enthusiasm and my self-determination in life and for life would never have been that strong, whereas my eagerness for achievement wouldn’t have reached the level of stars and planets.

If I had abandoned or done something that was not good for my soul I wouldn’t have felt that positive outcome… something really good came out of this endeavour, a magnificent thing that I still can’t explain, but which I hope will shine through my behaviours, and my creative lifestyle.

Thus, I do hope that you never abandon your aspirations and dreams, or whatever else you want to do; and that at the end of this long pathway filled with pitfalls and strangeness you come out of it renewed, strengthened, healthier than ever, enlightened, or even proud of yourself, proud of everything that you have been able to accomplish.

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