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My Diary

If I Had Abandoned

Driven By Passion & Determination

It has been difficult, very difficult indeed. It had been almost alienating… and all of this happened during the strangest episode that I have ever encountered in my whole life… and believe me, I have encountered a lot. I should have abandoned and taken all of these hoaxes that my mind made up, or not, very seriously, but, you know, I know very well how it feels to have a beautiful and aesthetic way of thinking — where hate or any other negative vibes were of no actuality in my mind. All you need to do is remember beauty, love, and your own heart.

Hence, if I had abandoned, I wouldn’t have been on the verge of closing a chapter of my life as to write a new one; with a finished novel of 69,000 of words, a well-fed blog, a poetry book in editing phase, more basic skills acquired, lots of ideas written here and there, and as well as happily seeing my plans taking shape.

If I had abandoned, I do think that I would still have been stuck in a life of misery; without any dreams to cling to, or without even any plans of a future full of excitement. I wouldn’t have awakened every morning with thoughts of progressing and going somewhere, and I wouldn’t have gone to bed every night with the sentiment of having accomplished something; no matter how small it might have been. In a word, my life would have been dull, without any motivation and aspiration to keep me on the right track of a healthy and happy life.

If I had abandoned, I would have lived an unhealthy life, where perhaps my mental would have been a complete mess; I would have been loss; running with fairies, lonely, depressed, and filled with anger and anguish. I would have lived a life without purpose, I would have stopped listening to music, singing (no matter how falsely I sing), or even dance, where perhaps, I would surely have stopped watching television and movies too.

Damn, I would have clearly been a total mess.

If I had abandoned I don’t think that I would have learned terms such as self-motivation, self-conviction, self-analysis, self-help, focus, self-taught. I don’t think that I would have regained such trust and faith in life, and I don’t think that I would have been so hungry for life again. Looking at everything I’ve done till now gives me back all of this trust that I had lost in myself; no matter how hard the try might have been, in the end, nothing has been lost, for me.

If I had abandoned, there would have been no positive change in my life. My enthusiasm and my self-determination in life and for life would never have been that powerful, whereas my eagerness for achievement is reaching the level of stars and planets. Something positive came out of this whole thing, compared to if I had abandoned or done something that was not good for my soul.

… What’s on the next ride… I don’t know… but for sure, I’ll keep going.

I do hope that you never abandon whatever goodness your soul is eager to be doing, and that at the end of this long pathway filled with pitfalls and strangeness, you come out of it renewed, strengthened, healthier than ever, or even proud of you, and of everything you have accomplished.

By Eiravel

I am an independent creative author (self-taught autodidact), who lives on the island of Mauritius. I've self-published a metaphysical science-fiction novel (Darcocyte); and I am currently writing a poetry book. I am a very passionate person, who loves reading beautiful sentences; I am also a great cinephile, music lover, and a lover of everything aesthetic and artistic. For my personal creative leisure, I love to craft, blog & write poetry, and this, all the while taking care of my children.

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