What Pushed Me To Write My First Book

“A mixture of serendipity, necessity, and to concretise a dream”

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

T.S Eliot (Poet and Playwright)

According to the online dictionary Merriam Webster, ‘serendipity’ means ‘the faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought after’. And on the online encyclopaedia Wikipedia we learn a little bit more about the origin of ‘serendipity’ — which was used to describe how some princes from a fairy tale were ‘always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things which they were not in quest of’. And perhaps it was on a serendipitous moment that I wrote my first book Darcocyte, simply because while blogging, which was a discovery I made while scrolling for a job, I fell in love with creative writing.

Or even perhaps it was Ananke, that Greek primordial goddess that personifies inevitability, compulsion and necessity — a mythological deity that I admire. Perhaps necessity was that force which triggered my want to write a book, for it was what I needed to ameliorate my writing skills — which by the way really helped me to develop my personal writing style. My intention to write and purpose in life aligned so as to create this force that pushed me to write my first book. It was clearly inevitable.

When I used to be a bookworm — back in the days when I had plenty of time to do whatever I wanted, or even when I marveled in front of these books exposed on the shelves of libraries, I secretly caressed the idea of writing a book one day. And even though back then I wrote poems, and scribbled every day in a diary, I never really thought about becoming an author.

Thus years went by, and with it, some dreams were buried deep, while others were tossed in the wind, but strangely, often I randomly fell on ads where off-shore companies were looking for manuscripts from experienced, and even amateur writers. And I don’t know why, but I always cut the ads, thinking that I would like writing something about the depression I was suffering from, fancying about writing my autobiography (but now I don’t want to write my memoir, for I don’t think that my life is that interesting😁, while I have this blog to summarise my writing experience). But soon I forgot about it all again, for I was way too busy living a futile lifestyle. I never really connected the dots.

Then when I discovered the inspiring work of all these authors and creatives on social media, exactly on Pinterest, I reconnected with my love for reading what’s beautiful and aesthetic, and remembered the admiration I have for literary authors. I was touched by the hands of creativity, I was inspired to write, I started to dream in words.

Afterwards, for the fun of it, I created an account on a writing site, and I started to write a short story about the innocent love of a cockroach for a girl. Then I created my first blog on WordPress, where the more I wrote, the more I knew that I could write stories, poems, and personal essays, all the while I also started to realise that I can perhaps write a book.

Appetite comes after that you’ve tasted food that you like, and when I was writing everyday for the WordPress daily writing prompt challenge, I developed a super enthusiastic energy about creative writing, where suddenly everything appeared as a possibility. But I also have to confess here that I was not only trying to become an author or blogger… I was also going through a phase of mental upgrade. And because writing demands concentration and stillness of mind, I could use the method of self-interrogation as to attain personal self-realisation and a certain clarity of mind. While writing, I was also healing myself.

Thus, little by little I boldly continue my way within this many layers that make up writing. It’s not easy to learn in the way that I’ve chosen to learn, for it takes lots of time and patience and concentration, and waves of doubts are always troubling my confidence. But there’s always an inner voice that tells me that I can do it, I always come back to my senses; I am always telling to myself ‘why not’.

Perhaps if I hadn’t been able to work my way through my mental perturbations I would have given up my first book long time ago, but in times of doubts I always regain my determination and full confidence to go write the books I want, with hope that I’ll find serendipity, and randomly discover something marvellous about life while writing so as to concretise my dreams.

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