Have you ever felt attracted by something, to the point of practically seeing patterns of it into almost every concrete things that surround you . . . but still, you fight with your natural instincts at the expense of what you learnt, screaming out to yourself that it seems too difficult to achieve . . . well, this is the kind of scenario that is typical to my life.“The signs were too crazily aligned, for me not to take the chance of trying to write the book I had so much dreamt of.”
When I used to be a bookworm — back in the days when I had plenty of time to do whatever I wanted —, or even when I marveled in front of those attractive books exposed on the shelves of libraries; I always dreamt wide-eyed opened to write a book on my own one day. However, I had no strong determination back in the days, and even though I wrote poems, and scribbled everyday into a diary, I thought that I would never be able to do such a thing as writing fiction (have to say that my admiration for writers stems from the root thought that they are profoundly wise, talented, and passionately in love with writing). Now I know that during the act of writing, some words deemed as inspirational flows naturally into the world. Also, there are no magic tricks, and it is only through practice, persistence, self-determination, and being auto-critical of your own work, that you become skillful in your craft — and that it is only when you have transcended your thoughts of incapacity, that writing really becomes your passion. Then years go by, and with it, some dreams get buried under piles of living a life of futility, but still, the patterns . . . they persisted, and very often, I randomly fell on ads asking for submissions of manuscripts by whether experienced or amateur writers, where I went on only cutting the needed part of the newspaper, which I soon forgot about, simply thinking that I was inapt to write, or worst, I was way too busy living a futile lifestyle.
Then one day, I was introduced to a computer device that hosts blog sites, writing software, while also being implemented with all the information and materials that I needed to start my writing journey — and guess what, though I had not connected the dots right then, I had at least started to be inspired by those e-writers that write poems, short stories, and blog. I was like an enthusiastic child, curious and awed at all these perspectives at hand. For me then, anything was possible (at least, that was what I thought at the very start . . . how gullible of me). Afterwards, for the fun of it, I created an account on a writing site, and started writing a short story about the innocent love of a cockroach for a girl, and the more I wrote, the more I knew that I could write stories, all the while realizing: “it’s now or never to write my book.”
The signs were too crazily aligned for me not to take the chance of trying to write the book I had so much dreamt of. Thus, after the chaos, the tears, the misunderstandings, the doubts, the swearing, the tiredness, my paranoiac crisis, the sufferings, but also little by little, I finally led my way through the building up of the chapters that make my book — where right now, I am going through edits, and with high hopes that I will be gifting to myself this book that I have been writing through good and bad times. I devoted practically four years to the completion of this science-fiction book, and now that I am at the polishing phase, I can say that I am proud of myself, to have half-accomplished my dream through self-determination.
So, I want to seize this opportunity to thank all the people that have created all of these easy- for-access software, and everyone else whose arts have inspired me, without forgetting those who have written informational articles about writing, and also, credit to these handful good intentional people of the web-space.
I do hope that your dreams come true, and don’t be shy to comment below about what pushed/is pushing you to write your first book.