Handwritten quote on a notebook, light pink beverage and chocolate cake.

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A Dumb Mistake

Erasing my account was really a silly mistake

I wish I could tell all of you what’s wrong with me; I wish I could make you understand all of the things that go through my mind sometimes… when I am like one of these machines or devices that burst a cable or lose it and short-circuit, and where I end up erasing all of my digital accounts — including blog, social medias, and all the rest, all on which I have been working so hard since the year 2014.

And now look at me, I have to start all over again, with no whatsoever proof at hand of the progress I made since I began. All data lost, everything has been tossed in the wind, thrown out of the window like trash when everything I’ve done till now were dear to my heart; all of these years of hard work gone in a finger snap… and for what reasons? Simply because one day I woke up and realised that my unfounded trust issues were too much for me, thus, just like that I erased e-ve-ry-thing.

It’s only when I came back to my senses that I realised my mistake… but it was way too late to reverse my hasty action. I believe that we progress through learning how to rectify errors or mistakes that we realised we made… but still, making such a dumb mistake is quite heartbreaking I think, for all of the errors and mistakes that I had to work on so as to ameliorate my writing skills are all gone now.

I need the help of the internet during this self-taught adventure to be able to exhibit my work, create content, search and learn about writing and creativity, connect with all of you, practice… but I failed to do such; it’s so hard to start again.

I think that I clung myself too tightly to that web thing without really knowing what I was doing; rushed headlong like a bull into unfamiliar places, too star-eyed by all of these articles that bragged about the money they made online (although a handful of writers said that it took them about eight years to make money, while others had to pour in their own savings) — but it has never been that easy and never will, isn’t it? And it took me years to understand that there are many other factors that make online money makers… well, online money makers.

And that’s why I created this blog, so as to write about my aspirations, hope, my battles, my celebrations, my dreams, my heartaches, my finds and memories, these lessons learned, so that perhaps, you the reader, can find the right inspiration, do better, and avoid making the same mistakes that I did during this self-taught adventure in learning creative writing and the business behind.

Have to say that I have that bad habit of rushing too quickly into something without thinking carefully, thus skip many important steps, simply because I am addicted to the thrill of going into the unknown so as to discover new things, which is an issue that I need to seriously work on if I want to be successful.

So, was it getting too boring for me? Or something like that triggered my sudden want to erase everything so as to restart and feel the thrill of beginnings? Perhaps, who knows! But I just can’t run away each time I don’t feel that I am being inspired, isn’t it? For I will never arrive at that place if I continue like that.

Now I am starting all over again, prior to what I have learned, and working as hard as I can so as to replace the contents that I’ve lost. But this time I feel that I’ve learned my lessons well, and as I continue to slowly write my book, I am also learning computer basics, with high hopes that I might become a little bit more acquainted with the digital world, so as to not anymore lose my work, devices, or else erase everything out of despair.

I did not come this far to only come this far, and I won’t abandon so easily, at least not until I did everything correctly. I know that I’ll continue making mistakes until I’ve learned, until I stop making silly mistakes; I just hope that I’ll continue to cultivate enough patience and love for this craft, so that I won’t quit this dream of finally flying on my own.

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