Yes, I admit here, and say it loud and clear, I am paranoiac, and being online triggered something unhealthy in me (knowingly that I was completely computer illiterate and not at all tech savvy), where I ended up erasing all of my former blogging and social accounts, on which I have been working so hard since the year 2014. And now look at me, I have to start all over again, and this, with no whatsoever proof at hand of the progress I made since then. All data lost . . . and for what reasons? Because one day, I woke up and realised that my unfounded trust issues were too much for me, thus, just like that, I erased everything. All these years of hard work . . . gone in a finger snap.
When I realised my dumb mistake of erasing everything that composited my former accounts, it was way too late to reverse the actions I made. And I, who wanted so much to integrate web materials into my entrepreneur journey, as much as creating an e-portfolio to show off my skills, well, I ended up failing to do such. I might have trust issues concerning the web system into its integrality, but this does not mean that I should have erased all of my former accounts without any proper analysis and actionable measures (once again, blame it on me being computer illiterate).
*That was a silly thing to do – I acknowledge. Because as someone who has chosen to stick with the opened web (which is a space created by visionary geniuses (I guess so) who don’t have dumb and evil intent and that are responsible driven (I hope so) and who are expecting people to use their products consciously) I should have in return trusted that these parties with resources would have consciously managed the web space in sagacious ways (!).
*Note that this paragraph seem to stem from my speculative fiction faculty — or not.
Nevertheless, I sometimes think that I got too much into this web thing without knowing a damn thing about what I was doing, too star-eyed by all those posts bragging about all the dough made online (although some said that it took them about 8 years to make money online, while others said that they had to pour in lots of money) — but it has never been that easy, isn’t it? And it took me some time to understand that there are many other factors that make online money makers . . . well, online money makers.
My real problem is that I get too easily entranced into fanatic futuristic visions (blame it on my phantasmagorical mind), while thinking that the web might be an evasive space; same as books or movies, and that it was all about finding ships to follow for inspirational purposes, that is — the outsiders, the non-conformists, individualists, aliens, bohemians, and misfits of the day to day system. But in the end, the web was only a boring place, and not at all at the level of my thirstiness of another genre. Perhaps it is the fact that I am an all grown woman in my mid-thirties with husband and children, and that these were amongst the main reasons why I could not fit inside of this genre of web ecosystem, and this, although I found some genius-mind from websites like WordPress.com, Tumblr, and Pinterest, which to me are amongst the most interesting and inspiring web-spaces for free spirits to hang around. As for the rest, they are too typical, without proper care for the show off of visual aesthetic pleasantness of things, which might feed the mind of thirsty creators (just speaking my mind here). However, these other websites are instead great for staying in touch with locals, and networking locally – good for independents to set up an online presence.
All of these were only fallacious visions of mine – mere phantasm, same as all the stories that run wild in my mind. Or perhaps, I found myself on the other side of the web, or as always, I have skipped too many important steps.
Now, I am starting all over again, prior to what I have learned, and working as hard as I can so as to create content I have lost. But this time, I have learned my lesson well, and as I continue with my book writing, I am also learning some computer basics, with high hopes that I might become a little bit more acquainted with the digital world, as to not anymore lose my works, my devices, or else, erase everything out of despair.
I did not come this far to only come this far, and I intend on continuing this journey; with clearer mind, visions that are a little bit more ingrained into this reality, levelled-up skills, and a little bit more understanding of my computer. I think that I might continue building up my online presence, all the while learning to set up a little indie-biz.
But for now, I am going through most basic steps that require a good online presence, so that as an aspiring author and entrepreneur, I might be able to promote my products, and along the way give accounts of my online hustle, with intent that it might one day help someone out there.