View of sunlight flaring up a cloudy sky with yellow and gold from the beach.

Thoughts At Twilight Hours

When on Monday I went to the beach so as to change atmosphere and take some photos for this blog, I had a serendipitous encounter with the subliminal facet of nature — I faced the scenery of a magical glowing orange disc slowly setting at the horizon of the ocean… this magnificent view from the beach appeased my internal conflicts, and I’m again in love with nature, with all of her colours, for she’s the most generous and selfless thing that I’ve ever seen; I’m again inspired, enlivened, determined, hopeful.

Sunlight orange and golden glow trapped by clouds.

So many times I went to that beach in my past life, where I lounged this shore till dusk, swam in the evening warm sea, picked seashells, had conversations till late hours under the filao trees, and yet I don’t remember noticing the change in colour of the sky and sea as the sun goes down; never have I been to the spot facing sunset.

Or perhaps I was there, but never really paid attention to him, the splendid sunset, for I was way too busy thinking about futile things, like, do I look sexy in my bikini, laughing out loud with friends or relatives, drinking tropical spirituous beverages, eating delicious food, eating ice-creams, drinking coconut water, eating tropical fruit salads, having fun in the lagoon… enjoying other types of sunsets and oceans.

At that time I didn’t really found any type of jubilation in nature… it was a different time, I was completely a different person. The sun has already set on this period of my life long ago; and now thinking about it all, how strangely beautiful my dawn was.

But now that I write, now that I am a creative, now that I need to be attentive to my surrounding, now, that I’m a little bit more conscious and enlightened, perhaps it’s now that the sublime reveals itself to me, for nature knows that I need her to keep myself inspired, that I need to be constantly reassured about the veracity of these experiences… for these are not chimeras fabricated by a mind that’s losing touch with reality, but on the contrary, seeing such sunset and feel the sublime, is, awareness in full spectrum.

As I sat with my husband and my two sons on that little bench to watch with awe the dusk, I then suddenly realised that this gigantic fireball was staying there where he has always been in space, and that it’s this planet that carries us that’s rotating per second… and right there, I was witnessing that spin, watching a part of Earth slowly disappear in the dark, while another part of its body awakens at the touch of daylight.

As the glowing sun slowly went away, the horizon was on fire, the sea changed from a liquid texture to a more shiny metallic one, waves surged, while the tides receded, pulled away to that other ocean where the sun was then rising… in fact, I then thought, Earth is like a ship that pitch and roll on waves… and I’m within this womb, pitching too, knowing sunsets as my sky turn dark, living, knowingly that soon the sun will rise again on the crest of my head.

And I couldn’t help myself from thinking about these fleeting moments that look like sunsets, these hours that go by seconds by seconds, these number of sunsets that everyday lead us to our expiration date… I have so many things to do… and what if I was more conscious? Will my time slow down while the sun will set a little bit later in this dimension that will emanate from this being aware of each of my action? Is he aware that I’m aware that he’s aware in his own plane of existence? 

I was aware of the beauty that emanated from the scenery of this setting sun on that day; and I’m writing about it, about my emotions, about everything that this view evoked in me; I’m writing about this new mind exercise that I need to try, which is awareness, simply because watching the sun set behind the horizon of the ocean moved me till the point that I needed to reflect more seriously about the state of my life, about all of my latenesses, inconsistencies, unhealthy habits, promises not kept.

And Earth continues to spin at its own rhythm, now meeting the sun, now turning away from that gigantic hellish star that seem inoffensive from afar, yet, that could annihilate our home in the blink of an eye; and then came to my mind the chapter of harmony… I thought of the unique equilibrium that holds existence together… every single thing is at its place, doing exactly what they have to do — birthing, growing, and disappearing and reappearing in their own time, same as sunsets, and same as the harmony I experienced as I watched this particular scenery.

I realised that I form part of sunsets, too; that I’m a tiny part of life that lives in that cell that’s harmoniously cycling its way in and out of existence… thus, I need not fear or stress over my authorpreneurial journey.

I’ve been getting ideas for the second book; after watching the sun set from the seaside I had an ending… and how beautiful the end was… I almost cried as I imagined it.

I think that I’m ready… yes, I’m ready, for the sky is more beautiful at the crepuscular hours, at the time of the day when the remnants of sunlight flare-up the sky with colours that brighten up our heart, filling us with wonder, and hope.

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