Darcocyte, My Sweet Ache

The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.
Henry Ford

I’ve stopped counting the years… for it seems that Darcocyte forms an integral part of me now. It’s my shame, my ache, my sin, my failure, my drama, my unborn, my illusiatory, this pang in my heart, my first, my pride, the beloved of my ego, my rude mentor. I know that it’s way too over the edge to describe my feeling in such a way about a book, to anthropomorphise this vegetative, non-living thing to the point that it appears to breathe and talk, but I want it so badly to be beautiful by my own hand, that I don’t care if ever I keep falling inside the hungry mouth of alienation. Darcocyte, my sweet ache.

Again, one more time, once more, and it will take all the time that I need to make this story right, I am for the umpteenth time re-editing Darcocyte😅; perhaps again I’ll ache and sob, fall in the chasm of despair, be temperamental and paranoid, while blaming myself for having written a novel for my debut as a writer; but I just can’t resolve myself to abandon it… I just can’t. Darcocyte, my sweet ache, the main cause of my persistence.

Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.
Maya Angelou

But to edit a novel on my own, isn’t it what I want to do? Learn to write and edit my own stuff… madness they all say… but why not, I reply. Darcocyte evolves as my writing and editing skills develop; this novel is not my personal experiment, but the document of my final writing exam, where readers are the grand jury. And I am ready to hear and apply whatever criticism they throw at me, for I personally bear the responsibility of my own failures and legendary stubbornness. Don’t think that I don’t care for my dignity, which is a precious thing to me, but in the digital entrepreneurial realm everything is about tenacity, artistry, toughness, but above all, it’s all about good and flawless products and services, while moving quick to fail quick, and find and rectify these flaws quickly before it reaches more customers. Darcocyte, the cause of my sleepless nights.

Thus, I’m again on that editing roller-coaster, trying my best to make my book look more readable and attractive than it is right now. My husband and my sister gave me some advice after they’ve read part of it… precious little advice that I’ll surely apply. Darcocyte, my pride.