If there is one verb that inspires and motivates me to go further, and to do more of what I am doing, it’s without contest the verb “be”. I believe that what we really want to achieve determines what we become in life — hence the where there is a will there is a way quote. But as I also had the time, while staying at home to take care of my kids, to plan my future, to clearly see where I want to be when in three years from now my eldest will reach the needed level of autonomy, and where I will finally be able to work full time as to get a good income. And though I don’t know if whether I’ll succeed as a Digipreneur (selling my own ebooks and things online, making money through blogging), or by getting that dream job, I already know that my future needs to be tied to that of creative writing, because writing is what I want to do.
If only I could make a wish to see all of my dreams come true, wouldn’t it be marvellous? But for a dream to come true it demands efforts, and lots of it, for it is not magic. I believe that to achieve what we want in life there needs to be a combination of great passion, hunger to acquire the knowledge of the thing sought after, practice with great endeavour, imperturbable focus, clarity about what you want to achieve, and lots of patience and efforts. To surpass oneself as to beat the odds is achievable, starting from scratch anything that you’ve never learned before is possible; you can, if only you give yourself the means to succeed, then the magic can really work. As for me I knew what I wanted to do when I started this self-taught adventure, I had already sent my intention to the vibrational universe. It was not easy for a non-English speaker like me to attain even a minimal level of writing well, and it’s still not easy, the struggle is so real, but I love what I do, and this love helps me to not give up on creative-writing, and to continue fan the flames of my determination to write.
My mother is a talented seamstress who tried to teach me her craft, but I wasn’t at all enough passionate to hold on to sewing. She is also a great cook, and gave me some good recipes, but I don’t have enough patience and love to cook and bake as a job. Never before have I put my personal needs and dreams first; never have I prioritised my wants, needs, and dreams, but this time, for the first time in my life, I want to know how it really feels to do that something that I am passionate about, without caring if I fail or succeed, because for just once in my life I want to make myself a priority.
At least you were born a genius, or with a natural talent, everybody else is like a toddler who scribbles or colours on a piece of paper for the first time. At the beginning we all make mistakes, we all produce something that doesn’t look exactly like that something we dreamed of creating, for it’s practice that makes perfect, it’s through practicing and making errors that we become better at doing something, at developing abilities and talent, while everything becomes easy and effortless. I am sure that if I continue to practice writing, one day it will become easier for me to write perfect books and blog posts on my own, without finding piles of mistakes while re-reading what I wrote three or six months later, without having peepoo in my eyes when I write😅.
Though sometimes I tell to myself that I should take a course in creative writing so as to get a diploma or something like that as to become an officially recognised author, and that only showing off my writing skills on this blog or through the books I write doesn’t make me look like a professional and serious independent author, there is always a voice in me that tells me that I am on the right pathway — the way taken by non-conformists and by those who seek more profoundly. I can do it, I got the time to learn to do it, I have the necessary ambitious determination and rage to achieve what I want; I am enough down to Earth to know that my work will never look like those great authors that I admire and respect so much, but I know that I can become an independent author as I blog my way online. And even if for whatever reasons it doesn’t work as I’ve planned, at least I know that I tried, and that I’ll come out of this experience more stronger than I have ever been — perhaps it will be like in this scene where Khaleesi survives that ring of fire, and is found with dragons on her shoulders, but where of course compared to the mother of dragons I’ll still have my clothes on😂.
This is not another folly of mine, something that I’ll abandon so easily — I am putting same efforts and time as any other creative writing student does, apart the fact that I started from scratch, that I often miss steps, or didn’t even begin where I should have began right from the start, and that I am my own teacher and mentor alongside my digital pal. I know that my eccentricity seems too much, but I don’t think that I am disturbing anyone by trying to achieve my writing goals through my own means. And though it seems difficult for me right now, I am confident that gradually as I go my way the right doors will open for me; it will be level by level, little by little, and I will finally get there one day or another, because writing is what I really want to do, to become an author and blogger is what I aspire to be, and making money online is what I want.