Tag: Stream Of Consciousness

All races give out rays of light
Under a sun that rises for everyone
And stars that shine brightly for everybody.

And what about the plants, the trees?
Same too, you see, they appeal to all of us –
We’re just different colors, sizes, & shapes
Different types of body embodiment.

The ocean rests there, extending itself till horizon
For the eye of everyone who surrenders to beauty
And for those that mesmerize at the miracle of life.

And then it dawns on everyone, everything
As our tears look alike like diamonds
That cascade down on those cheeks of us
While our Anthurium like heart blooms in same soil.

I would tell you too of the beauty of our variances,
Of all these mysteries that make us up
And of that blood like magma that streams in us –
That unfortunately erupts oftently, with ache and hate.

I don’t hate you brother, I don’t hate you sister –

My whiteness, my blackness, my yellowness, my redness,
My coffeeness, my greenness, my contrasts, my uniqueness.

I don’t hate you brother, I don’t hate you sister –

My querness, my disabilities, my loveliness,
Our weaknesses, our weaknesses, our weaknesses.

I don’t hate you brother, I don’t hate you sister –

We are only one tiny drop in that ocean of life,
Making one member, linked, linked.

And when I finally go to rest, I return to our ocean, mingling as one.

I love you brother, I love you sister.

                             /

If you see the uniqueness, if you see beauty, if you see intelligence, if you see the richness, if you see the love, in everybody else, then you’ll be beautiful, you’ll be intelligent, you’ll be rich, you’ll be loved, you’ll be unique. These are the magical words I silently repeat everyday in my head – that one law of attraction that I try to practice, though how difficult it is.

Perhaps I am the leaf, perhaps a bud, or the root, that holds on firmly to a stem. Or perhaps a hand, a finger, a tiny cell, a little bacteria – a function of that one body!

I think that the anthurium plant is an interesting metaphor to describe the human race . . . don’t you think so?

😩I am busy these days – helping my children with their lessons at home, writing, and masterminding new plans. I made a wrong decision at the wrong time, that is, to subscribe to the premium plan when I haven’t even made a cent online, to inject further in my small biz. I don’t want to lose my .com domain – thus my decision to wait until I am sure that I’ll be able to pay for my premium plan. Fact is, if I am unable to pay for my domain name, this web address will revert to its original subdomain address, and there will be too many work that I’ll need to do, that is, changing all the urls on my social media sites and all the rest. So, I do think that it is preferable for me to wait and see.

i

I try to count –
One, two, three, four, five, six Learning calculation;
Take that one bead I found,
And plus one more around,
There you are, it makes a two.

On my wooden abacus, there I slide the beads,
Red, Blue, Yellow, Green,
Learning calculation.
There pops out the numbers in colours,
In my twinged mind filled with confusion.

These all that gives whats equal,
Trying to confuse my mind even more,
What I may say about it –
I and the world of digits don’t get along very well,
I prefer the formulations
That emanates from alphabets.

ii
The arithmetician tried to show me the realm of all his calculations,
Ideas that intersect to make a web,
The power of the alphanumeric.
But my mind dreams in images,
Which is much less boring than the mathematician’s integers;
But then, what secrets link those that see
Beyond the forms of things. Spit out,
Beyond the numbers. Chewed out,
Beyond the sentences. Flamed out.

iii
There stood I pale and incensed,
With my mind blowing out nums;
Blowing out nums I don’t logicize.
My mind’s nestle the mistake of logic,
Logic that strays into that dreamer’s eyes,
Eyes that’s black contoured of fatigue
And of the concentration to answer
to nullify or equalize,
I found it was all of a nightmare
My abacus in my bare hands
I try to count, dreamily senseless.

iv
The abacus sits on the corner of a desk
The child needs me to help them count,
My bed is still a mess when days break
And my heart pulls out like daunt
Seriously thinking that it’s no fun

I slide the colourful playful beads
On the wooden abacus that still sits
In a little corner of a white office
Whose circled panes seem to miss
Of the warmth of the throning sun

In the end, with the abacus at hand
I teach un-merry to the curious child
Some calculations that seem to bend
Unrevealed matrices that openly hide
More of coming formulations undone

The abacus sits in the corner of a desk
Alongside some books and other carnets;
Carnets that the child curiously open
Happy now am I, till the coming dusk
To read merrily, holding my pen.

We are merry-go-rounds floating above the ground,

Little shingles shining in the night;

Foams too, escaping till the landscape.

We are closed cities, yet still pretty,

Sending kisses far away, to another galaxy.

We used to bump each other’s head with bones of Mammoths,

But embraced mechanic, became megalomanic, and created weapons.

We are addicted and addictive creatures,

Easily sprinkled with made up dreams.

We are cells filled of filthyness, of excess of fats, sugar and salt,

With scars that’s hidden deep, deep.

We pretend that we know, but to fend a coconut is knowledge too.

Some of us dream to remain naked, others on the other hand dream of prudery.

We are fragile beings, easily infected, easily affected, easily ruled –

By planets, by pathogens, by tides, by other beings, and more;

Yet we pretend that we are superiority –

The dream of ruling never leaving most of our minds.

Our cutesome babies giggle and cry out loud

And we are able to love, to care, with all of our heart.

We still don’t know who we are, for we are all inflicted with amnesia when morning comes.

Our species is a very clever one, but not yet intelligent, way too material, unaware of what’s energetical,

Thus we burn while we learn, break while we learn.

Look! We’ve been able to materialize that’s what’s only blurry shapes.

We are filled of flaws, of vanity, most of the time disoriented,

We are vermines, vandals, eternal unsatisfied –

We do get easily angry too, forgetting that we are free to be,

Yet, we still beautiful, amazing, and worthy, you know –

Such fascinating living creatures.

We love to dance, to sing, to write poems and forgotten stories of us,

Though unaware of the soul connection,

We are just everything coming from everywhere,

One of the kind, a beautiful find, called the human race.

In such difficult times I always wish that there is something more superior and intelligent that’s above us – guiding, guarding, and watching over everything and everyone that makes up existence. I am not a sceptic nor a believer, I just go along with what I know from my own perceptions… an individualist who suddenly feel shaken by the threat of the Corona virus.

It had the face of a luminar

Thus attracted me to what’s far –

A gigantic fire, fiercely burning

It’s body, an incensed torpedo

Those flames, a sweet spot for melting

The shape of its eyes, a glittering facet

It’s enthralled chant, a musical crescendo

And like a moth, I died inside its flames.

It’s so unlucky, you see

As to live an illusion,

Running away as to be free –

A slave to these things unreal

Chained to those beings all fake

Wanting liberation from the confusion;

Trying to catch the state of what’s real

Dying to know, for one’s own sake.

How I wished your dews were pure water;

Not infected by a poisonous enzyme

Fogging my ideas for me to deter

Things and places that will never be mine,

I was taken aback by fear, certainly

Undigested feelings burning me

But I am too, an undefined structure

Ready to break out, like thunder.

© Eiravel

This world ends in various seasons

Our heart seldom break without reasons

And the cloud is so soft, that it rains tears

Right into a bucket above my head

Where it’s filled with sand and sea

While my attitude is a longitude of the sky

Yet my heart is a heavy metal

Meant, to be carried everyday

I wish it was as soft as clouds and sands

But all these emotions it carries, shadow its functions

And my bones crack with each move;

Can there be somewhere in me left unattended

With particles that freely flow and glow

And where everywhere I turn to, are places I know

I want to forget what I’ve seen on that night

And of all the places I’ve been to

Locked, within an amorous embrace

Where we rested, hidden from all sight

While above my head, sand and sea

With all these creatures swimming all free

And that’s when I’ve finally closed my eyes

That I became the water above my head

For I had remembered why my heart was broken;

Why my heart was soaked wet and heavy

And thus, I became the vastest of all oceans —

Hosting the creatures of my own mind.

Ⓒ Eiravel 2020

I don’t know, I just wanted to write and share a poem on my blog. I miss writing things since I’ve been busy trying to set up this new website, and doing all the rest.

I am tired for so long, with nobody to alleviate my pain, and the burdens of all my mistakes. I stay into a mental gauge, unfree to decide on my own of what is to be made of me. I see enemies and wrecked soul all along the way, where they stay into a darkness, filled of morbid thoughts. I hate you for imprisoning me, and taking the steer of my own ship. I hate you for what you are, and I hate myself more – to not be able to extend my wrath over you. I am tired of all this shit and brokenness, and I want to go sleep into my own bed – A bed made by me, under its wondrous eye. I am tired of all of you and of your wickedness. This game, doesn’t please me anymore . . . You, getting everything, and me, nothing . . . You, the parasite that feeds on me . . . You, that hide me from all good eyes . . . You, that keep taking everything from me. You think I don’t see you! You think I don’t hear you, and you seem to forget what I am. Hence, I am tired, for you’ve taken too much. And now my bones, they are all dried up.

Oh. Wait. What I see there. Isn’t it the gigantic woad-tattooed beast. All bare naked. The companion of vivacity. It is always breaking in. Not to take. But to give. Only to me. As it always says. Vivacity. Strength. Self-love. Self-confidence. It feeds me. Of hatred for all. Of disastrous stories. Of the ones it devours. For it to grow. To love only me. To love only its shadows. Of life. Of aliveness.

I was tired for so long, then it came my way. Breaking barriers and oceans. Stirring my emotions relentlessly. A booster, to feed my appetite of raw meats and blood slicking out. While it goes out hunting, I sleep and make good dreams; I rest onto our hidden Eden. Then, between dawn and dust I am fed with the strength of wicked things. Where it sings horrific lullabies to my ears of the humongous deeds it inflicts to the wicked. It whispers into my ears to keep these as livestock for us to feed on. For its appetite is bold and time is long living all alone. I used to be always tired for such a long time. I was too soft and too cool; Too good and too forgiving. So I made a business deal, of course, with the beautiful beast. For it to feast on those emotions that tie me up, and of all things that feed on my deeds.

And how do I pay back, shall you say Well, I lay into its strong arms – Its love for me is ferocious, you know It can bleed you to death If ever you make me cry, Thus, I listen silently to all the news of horrors And it rocks me till I sleep, with its whispers of death. I used to be always so tired For too long, way too long Now, I have a shoulder to lean on One, that take care of me, without taking.

Lately, I’ve been very tired, and I do think that I am really fed up of all of this. So, this is a metaphor for the subject of being tired itself. I find tiredness as being a parasitic thing that sucks all of my energies; feeding on me and gaining all the strength needed to continue growing. And like all these horror movies that I like watching, I see it, as being the enemy that alleviates all my hope and dreams, and somewhere within this negative aspect of living life extensively, something else sprouts out of this body and mind condition. Thus the second part of this free-verse poem, is a metaphoric allusion to the contrary of tiredness, which is vivacity, powerful energies, and raw blood (it’s just that I’ve got some Iron Manganese Copper (😂😂it’s so beurky-beurky-beurk, I don’t understand the vampires… dude, blood is not tasty attt alllll) when I went to the doctor during my recent anaemic condition, and as the good fictionnair that I am, I had to invent some untypical kind of imagery).

I imagined some kind of powerful mythical creature, exactly, one that has a tribal tattoo on the middle of its forehead, that goes into a battle against tiredness, feed me of the energies of the enemies, and giving me back my vivacity, which brings balance to my energy and helps at my rehabilitation.

So, as you all can see, with high doses of nonsense, pints of metaphors, mythology, and all the rest, this poem took shape.

I am currently reading catch-22, by Joseph Heller. 
And I found myself being immersed into a strange 
world filled of absurdisme, with pints of surrealism; 
genres that I have at heart. And I do think that while 
writing this piece, my mind was still planning
into the dimensional space of this book.

“Sometimes, when I can’t seem to come up with something deem as being the norm for writing a piece, I abandon myself to whatever my mind commands during the process of drafting something; where most of the time, the sentences seem to be bits of some kind of analysis I have unconsciously stored into my random access memory. In the end, it becomes a piece rooted into absurdisme, conquest, and surrealism. It becomes pure invention of a genre that begs to become concrete. And whether this writing experiment works or not as to fit the certainty of pleasuring the mind of readers, I personally think, that it offers the evading experience needed to achieve the finality of what reading fiction has to offer.”

Why you love reading fiction? Because of time.

Time! What’s time?

A fiction

A fiction! Say . . .The process.

What’s the process then?

The writer thinks. The writer writes. The writer crafts. Time. Then, the reader reads, and, it’s a story with a start and finish, compressed into one whole book. Time.

No. There’s more. There’s more. Tell. A book. A creation. A subtle aesthetic design.

Then there it is. And what if
What if we can’t seem to feel
That these filmsical skies seal
A spell with which we can’t deal
Hidden under glows of sun
And glows of moonlit beam
Of this one thing that wants to be seen
But still remain lock away behind screen
And where one can only feel its eye upon us
When attuned with it with all of our senses
With all of our mental capabilities
What would have you done
If ever you were all alone
Into a cold and darkening void
Accessing remotely to everything
What would you have done?
That is the question
                      To you.

Immaculate canvas —
Awaited for brushstrokes
Like a lover waiting for love
Like a pen in need of use
Like a mould wanting to shape,
Expressions and Abstractions
Materialising from minds
To come alive into existence
To exist, to make you see —
Invisible information, invisible lessons
– Invisible instructions
Focusing elements of life
Begging to be seen through detailed intellect
Deciphering the beauty that’s ours
Detailing the truth that’s ours
His hand draws contours
And bits of remembrance
Comes back each time
The mind creates from genuine self
Lugubriousness materialises
To scream out to us —
That we remembered.

Artworks of every type have always been of great inspiration for me

Today I was inspired to write this poem when an artwork by Paul Klee appeared on Google Doodles. The painting was so striking to me that it kindled my imagination. Have to say that artworks created genuinely always catches my attention, which brings out-forth my fascination for the creator of the work.

This piece is from an old poetry notebook. I think that formerly posted it on other websites through my old account… but nevermind, here it is again:

Deep down in the forest I looked for you
Deep Down In The Forest
I heard you calling my name...
Deep down in the forest I found you
Deep down in the forest you were in agony
Deep down in the forest I took you in my arms,
And there deep in the woods shall my lover always rest.

I am not a simple person —
I rest my mind into other dimensions
Housed by some kind of alienated specimen
That talks to me as I sleep,
And that disperse as soon as the light shows its face;
I swim into some seas
That look like seaweeds and algae,
Of some sort of sandy past
That sticks into hairs and skin.
I play around on my paddling wheelbarrow boat,
Spun like a thread in the hands of the Moira
And my soldier of fate installs bitter thoughts
Into my heart, as if a reminder
Of my cruel designation as a mortal
Which imprisons gazillions of old atoms.
They travel into their own space universe
Aware of the tricks they play
Of the trouble they cause for a cause
And of the fear they instill into hearts and soul
As they childishly play with that skin I despise.
And as soon as when the light comes shining
On that part of my earth
I say to them goodbye
And we become mortals again... until then...
 

Beginning

 
Into this cave as deep as the ocean
I found a heart as large as space;
Corner stoned by glitters,
Mingled to the colors of the gaseous nebula

Waves of love from galactic particles 
Sublimates my mind & seduces me to be
 
Atomic beings birthed from the origin day
Beseech me to transmogrify the skin I live in
 
We dance in my mind & talk of worlds 
That could be ours — of worlds to create
 
And I defy your mortal laws —
I swim into forbidden seas 
& elevate my mind higher to them
 
Can you see my atoms that plays around?
Can you see us, can you see yourself
 
Now, wake and create — we were waiting for you.