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Narrative Essays

The Dedication Amidst Anxiety

“When you’re going through hell, keep going” – anon

Creativity to equilibriate

Anxiety has always been a poison to my mind – it rules me, it makes me unproductive, it fogs my mind, I can’t see clearly. My mind is an arid land when confronted to anxieties, which most of the time change into stress, and stress to depression. Ever-since my mental breakdown, I am not anymore as I used to be – I am more fragile, more susceptible, more frustrated than ever before, falling in and out of the mental prison of anxiety, and can’t think properly when darkness takes over.

Sure, to liberate my mind and alleviate the anxiety, I practice free-writing on paper, that I immediately tear after having relieved my heart of everything that hurts… but these are scribbles penned down automatically, and where I roughly write everything that’s hidden deep, locked, these layers of chaos, these cracked feelings that I am unable to shout out or say – some ignominious unlighted sentences, quasi-demonic, I will tend to say😂 I don’t know to whom these stabbing words are meant to or for, but what’s the most important, is that afterwards I feel relieved and my heart lighter, and sometimes even get some inspirational elements from where I can extract stories, poems, or even get ideas about what to blog. I love to think about this process as a phase of transmutation, where I take my anxieties, the obscure, and transform them into creativity, into writing.

It’s the calmness, the peace, the beauty of things that I perceive, and also doing what I like freely and without frustration that render me productive. I don’t thrive amidst chaos, negativity, and stressful environment, for these lugrubrious atmosphere, they annihilate every perception that I might have of an harmonious existence. Thus amidst tension, stressing factors and all the rest, my mind basculate into the dark side, the paranoia, the mistrusts, everything that’s negative, the coldness, the heartless – and instead of creation, it’s the incarnation of destruction that takes over, the duality without balance, the Yin that completely obscure the Yang in me.

And yet while writing these words, no matter how gloomy they might hit, I feel relieved of a heavy weight, for these sentences that I am writing right now, written aesthetically and creatively, they appeal as a beautiful creative leisure to my mind, insisting that I am here, alive, in full pocession of my mind, because I am taking all of the elements that’s from the well of a dream, everything that is abstract and fractal, everything that is geometric, symbolic, and formulaic, and that I am working my way through it, that I am solving, giving that which is shaped from the depth of my mind the chance to become concrete, to exist, to fly away from the darkness, the nothingness. Materializing my thoughts with these words in full awareness and a certain kind of logic. The want and need to be, stronger than these anxieties.

Thus, writing is the only interesting activity that appease my mind (well, apart watching T.V and movies😊) in times when anxieties strike, mainly during these times of health, economic, humatarian, and sanitation crisis – for I know that I am freely doing what I like, that simply writing is not a cause of frustration in my life, and that it is the balance that equilibriate my anxious state of mind of these days, and those to come.

Creativity is my own personal response to destruction, and where amidst these dark times, all that I can bring to the table, is my dedication to writing.

And what about you? What you do to balance, tackle, or cope with anxieties?

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Narrative Essays

What Is A Personal Blog

hand holding mug of tea with milk, alongside diary, tablet showing blog site, and fountain pen

In my youth I always kept a diary, scribbling about thoughts, ideas, my life, heartaches, and all the rest. It was my little secret garden, my get-away for mind relaxation. I never knew why I liked recording in that diary every bits of my teenage years, but every time I finished writing about what frustrated me back then, I felt better, ready to smile to the world again. I think that most diarist would agree with me that things tend to get better, while life seems brighter, after having poured into words our thoughts.

But what about blogging then? Well, compared to a diary that has key and lock to guard against prying eyes, a blog is not for the cagey – those that want to guard intimate secrets, even though you can password protect. To me, a personal blog is much more like one of those T.V reality shows (that by the way I am fond of); log entries that are made accessible to almost all web users.

Thus, a personal blog is a futuristic version of the diary, with possibilities of doing more – for compared to the limited page of a diary, a blog has limitless pages that are easily searchable through timely archives, categories, and topics, and where you can make it available, or even share publicly.

Social medias too can be qualified as personal blog, but not for the passionate diarist – those that are into long form writing.

As for me I blog about my adventures as a writer that uses the digital system, with hope that other aspiring writers don’t do the same errors as I did, and along the way give answers to questions that they might be asking to themselves; exhibit my poems and short stories, making them freely available to those passionate readers of poetry and fiction, while demonstrating my personal aesthetic type of writing. Roughly, my desire is to inspire and motivate aspiring or amateur creative writers through my own writing odyssey, while trying to bring my own contribution to the design of a better world, because why not! I also intend to use blogging as the main medium through which I can sell my products and services in a near or far future – thus my urge to blog with such degree of passion.

I do think that the personal blog is the main hallway to the personal opinions, thoughts, interests, experiences, reflections of the one that blogs, and these characteristics, I do believe, are what make personal blogs so attractive to readers like me – those that crave genuine emotional connection through these words put down in words.

Hence, what do you folks think about personal blogs?

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Narrative Essays

About Meditation For Creatives

My experience of the thing

Zen attitude for creativity

To “meditate” is defined in the dictionary as: “to think deeply and seriously about something” – but to gain what exactly? As for me, in the beginning, I wanted release from stress; and with all the books that I already had – about the power of Meditation and all the rest, combined with my knowledge of what’s esoteric, I finally decided to try those techniques that would liberate the ideas imprisoned deep into my subconscious. Thus, there are many reasons that trigger a person to make the decision of starting meditation – peace of mind, increase focus, happiness, amongst other reasons; but also to draw forth these unlimited supply of ideas that’s buried deep inside one’s own consciousness (yes, it’s possible, but not without danger).

I acquired most of my knowledge of the know-how to meditate through reading various books on the subject matter, including self-help books, where I experienced the benefit gained from the various techniques to meditate, through practicing. But, it was only after going through loads of difficulties and issues, that I have been able to experience it; which sadly many writers don’t guard against in their books.

I don’t think that a person should go deep into those techniques without proper guidance, following, and surrounding by legit and approved masters of these exercises of liberation, especially, if the person had/has a tumultuous life, traumas, or any other psychological issues. Now, if ever you want to go into this inner adventure all alone, then, I do hope that you buy a punching ball, or any other intended object meant to help you release the steam of your internal pressure cooker; and also that you have a good psychoanalyst/psychotherapist at hand (not a psychiatric though, please) – one who has knowledge, or studied the behaviors of the users of various techniques used to meditate; or better, that you live alone, or at least warn your surroundings that at any moment you might transform into hulk (now, your experience might be otherwise) .

There are many techniques that are being taught by the various spiritual and scientific institutions that exist, mainly, meditative prayers, transcendental meditation, mind stillness, self-inquiry, mindfulness, yoga, worshipping, trance, dance, chants, mantra repetitions, focusing, contemplation, formulating, binaural beats (learn the effects of exposing yourself to these frequencies though), and so many other techniques, which you can choose and pick now from the internet, but not going through it without the knowledge of the consequences which arise from starting to meditate on your own without a guide, for it is only a small portion of the whole knowledge needed to acquire meditative state that is given online. So, enter, or expose yourself (frequencies) at your own risk.

If during your first encounter with these techniques you feel overwhelmed, uncomfortable in your head and body – know that if you continue to gently practice, you will eventually experience it; but not after having dug within the layers within. And make sure that you understand, that once you have initiated the meditative program, well, there is no going back to your former self – whether you continue on your way to progress; or stop, and your state of mind worsen (that’s from relatives and friends that have quit mediation because they couldn’t bear the weight of overwhelming feelings. Have to say that they had issues). So, think twice, or even 10,000 times, before getting into deep meditation, because once you are into it, there is no stepping back.

As for me, I prefer to excercise both the techniques of contemplation, that is, to focus my attention on an object (in motion or not), and this, without having any thoughts, and in the end, it’s a beautiful feeling that takes on my body and mind; and, the exercise of stilling my mind. I don’t know the mechanism behind, but I can assure you that they are beneficial to my mind to get the necessary ideas to write about.

But I’ve also tried transcendental meditation😁😂 where of course I learned this technique from YouTube, where the guy firmly stipulated to not try this technique, but anyway explained how to do it – and damn, and by all the planets above, and ##@@#&&!!?## I went through loads of shit – it works, but, never ever never do that all alone🤣 (I don’t even know why I have put lol emoticons, because it is not at all a lol thing). Just be guided, for not everyone is a force of nature.

And how it went for you? Was it a cool experience, or a crazed one?

Categories
Narrative Essays

My 2020 Resolutions

Concerning my creative career

My tries of yesteryear
Fell on the soil –
Bloomed out a strange plant
Whose leaves I ate this year –
Mistakes to not make again
Mistakes to not make again. -Eiravel-

Here comes the time of the year where some resolutions need to be thought about. As for my 2019 resolutions, most of them have been achieved, like, finishing my novel, publish it, as well as being clear on what I really want to achieve, and on which pathway should I much more focus my attention. Now that some of my goals have been attained (though it’s only half fraction of the whole plan), I can continue my launch through this self-made adventure, as an independent writer/author.

So here are some of my main resolutions for my 2020 creative career:-

Finish my poetry book

Top priority on my list of resolutions for this year – give birth to my second book

Find a publisher for the physical format of my books

Because alone, I really suck on that part of making my book available, for it was way too much stressful for me. Now that I know, I intend on taking another route.

Keep up with a healthy weight

That one too, was on my list of priority for my 2019 resolutions – but I did not achieved my goal of regaining a healthy weight. Thing is, I believe that the stress caused by my overweight can have bad impact on my creative mind, for I am unable to think well, when there is so much tension.

Make the needed connections

Now that I’ve given proofs (through blogging, writing poems & short stories, and as well as my ability of producing books, I think that it’s time for me to go seek those local professional authors, as to further expand my library of knowledge – while they might perhaps help me to publish my coming books.

Try those sites built to sell services

I think that I am ready, or I need to force myself to be ready; for as you can see, I have extra costs to pay for now, thus, if books don’t sell, I’ll need to work towards other things.

Post on this blog once per week

At least try to organically optimise, as to attract readers to my blog; because what’s the use of sharing my thoughts, or any other content relevant to my experience and adventure, if there is no one to read my posts . . . so this year, I’ve decided to maximise my chance of being found through the web.

Treat what I am doing as a business

Because that’s what it is, isn’t it? Though the steer wheel is not in my hands (we will never know what happens at the back end of the internet), I intend of leading my small biZ like a more gentle version of a caid or donna, or not . . . loll.

Be more present on Social Medias

Because this is where the real people are, isn’t it!?

I guess that’s all folks. I do think that I have a very busy agenda for this whole year. Now let’s see what adcomes of it, for nowadays, the currents are always changing and shifting, or things aren’t working how we want it to, thus our sails need to be constantly adjusted in the proper direction; but I guess that I am a very adaptive person, and that in the end, I know that most of my resolutions will materialise – one way, or the other.

Categories
Narrative Essays

If I Had Abandoned

Driven By Passion & Determination

It has been difficult, very difficult indeed. It had been almost alienating… and all of this happened during the strangest episode that I have ever encountered in my whole life… and believe me, I have encountered a lot. I should have abandoned and taken all of these hoaxes that my mind made up, or not, very seriously, but, you know, I know very well how it feels to have a beautiful and aesthetic way of thinking — where hate or any other negative vibes were of no actuality in my mind. All you need to do is remember beauty, love, and your own heart.

Hence, if I had abandoned, I wouldn’t have been on the verge of closing a chapter of my life as to write a new one; with a finished novel of 69,000 of words, a well-fed blog, a poetry book in editing phase, more basic skills acquired, lots of ideas written here and there, and as well as happily seeing my plans taking shape.

If I had abandoned, I do think that I would still have been stuck in a life of misery; without any dreams to cling to, or without even any plans of a future full of excitement. I wouldn’t have awakened every morning with thoughts of progressing and going somewhere, and I wouldn’t have gone to bed every night with the sentiment of having accomplished something; no matter how small it might have been. In a word, my life would have been dull, without any motivation and aspiration to keep me on the right track of a healthy and happy life.

If I had abandoned, I would have lived an unhealthy life, where perhaps my mental would have been a complete mess; I would have been loss; running with fairies, lonely, depressed, and filled with anger and anguish. I would have lived a life without purpose, I would have stopped listening to music, singing (no matter how falsely I sing), or even dance, where perhaps, I would surely have stopped watching television and movies too.

Damn, I would have clearly been a total mess.

If I had abandoned I don’t think that I would have learned terms such as self-motivation, self-conviction, self-analysis, self-help, focus, self-taught. I don’t think that I would have regained such trust and faith in life, and I don’t think that I would have been so hungry for life again. Looking at everything I’ve done till now gives me back all of this trust that I had lost in myself; no matter how hard the try might have been, in the end, nothing has been lost, for me.

If I had abandoned, there would have been no positive change in my life. My enthusiasm and my self-determination in life and for life would never have been that powerful, whereas my eagerness for achievement is reaching the level of stars and planets. Something positive came out of this whole thing, compared to if I had abandoned or done something that was not good for my soul.

… What’s on the next ride… I don’t know… but for sure, I’ll keep going.

I do hope that you never abandon whatever goodness your soul is eager to be doing, and that at the end of this long pathway filled with pitfalls and strangeness, you come out of it renewed, strengthened, healthier than ever, or even proud of you, and of everything you have accomplished.

Categories
Narrative Essays

The importance of creative leisures in my life

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Look how imperfectly beautiful my handmade crafts are 😅

To me, creative leisures are an important part within my writing process, for it helps me to remain anchored into that creative state of mind, which expands my self-confidence as a writer/blogger. 

Crafting, writing poetry or single lines, taking pictures, making graphics and vids, are all essential things for me to be doing in order to bloom further as a complementary to-be crafter/maker. All of these acts help me to impregnate my own self of this dimension of creation; calling to my instinctive primary thoughts and ideas from where sprouts out the necessary imagination for me to be writing fiction, or even to be making the necessary graphics and pictures for my blog or social accounts.
I believe that creativity calls upon creativity, where it’s an endless circle filled of links pointing to methods and random images from where one can extract the necessary flux of ideas needed for the intended expression.
Within these moments of creative channelling, I can relax myself-deep to dive freely into an ocean of constellation of remembrance and let whatever wants to come alive take over my mind; and as reward, my brain is entranced with the joy of seeing the idea become concrete (of course, don’t panic; it’s filled of metaphors here…).
During my creative moments I feel totally free, I am me — unapologetically, where I know that I can let go of my thoughts beaming into every way, and this, without any judging eyes eyeing at me. Within these moments of evasion I only care of shaping whatever I want to shape, while happily watching my own concept of aesthetic take form.
There would have been no blog-post today, simply because, I had been so low on energy during these past days–with my mind wandering into every way, that I was unable to find the inspiration needed to put myself into a creative state of mind. But making some handicrafts linked to a Japanese art concept named ‘wabi-sabi’, which is an art-theme based on imperfectionhelped me to get the necessary inspiration as to write this particular post.
Crafting these little handicrafts sparkled again my confidence about what I am currently doing, which my guess here, is about what I had been suffering for these past few days. More importantly, I’ve understood something crucial, which is, that it is only during retreats within these moments of creation, that the push towards making more of what pleases my own eyes enliven my sense of  expressiveness.
*And as for you, what creative leisure brings you that sense of self-confidence? As always, don’t hesitate to comment below.

Categories
Narrative Essays

– My Little Bookcase –

It house only those writings dear to my heart

bookcase.jpg
Who is calling? Isn’t it a character sitting inside your bookcase

 
My bookcase isn’t large nor prettily styled, but it stand
in length–watching an ill-lighted corridor. My bookcase has no large panoplies of books sitting fancily on its 5 wooden shelves, but books, you know, I’ve read a lot – those that naturally found me at the détour of a school or municipal library, or even those give-away gems (mostly) into which I found my favourite story to escape within; same as these other books that enlightened some of my profound universal questions.
Little anecdote: I realised that my husband was the one when he gave me a ‘secret adventure book’, which is a collection of french ésotérique books.
From time to time, I bought  books which seem to give answers to my hunger for obscure knowledge, while others–like some dark powers at work–were books with prose that sickenened too much my mind; and till now, I can’t seem to understand how much unpresent my mind could have been when I bought these books. But I keep them as a reminder, that if they have been able to get published through those big publication houses, then, I might as well take my chance and give it a try to find a descent publisher… my guess here is, who dares win.
Then, there are those books that followed me from my teens till now, amongst — a collection of ‘Christopher Pike’ which I cherish since my teens, the clan of the cave bear  by Jean M. Auel (note that it was a give-away; one of my favourite book of all time; the first novel I’ve read in my teen days), De Toute Son Âme by René Bazin (that too was a give-away and remains my favourite amongst french literature), the beautiful Jane Eyre, the fantastical dreamy mind of Shakespeare, the futuristic visions of H.G. Wells, the thrilling suspense of Misery by Stephen King, and all of these, superbly aligned within books of quotes, poésies, and of self-help (where most of these were also give-aways).
Little anecdote: I was 13 or 14 when I read my first Christopher Pike, and it was love at first read. Thing is, I got this book through a friend, who herself got it from another friend. What I am going to divulge here, is not something that I am pretty proud of, and where it is the only kind of theft I committed through my whole life (yep, I stole a Christopher Pike’s book). Though how bad and lowly this action was, I didn’t want to return the book–too tempted to keep it for me. I ended up telling my friend that my little sister had torn entirely the book and apologised for this terrible accident. And that is how I had my first Pike’s book–thing which I still have with me. If ever you recognise me through this blog-post, I am sorry for that, I was a youngster filled of foolishness and obsession… but you know what – I didn’t slept for days, and felt guilty for saying such a big lie… and I even made nightmares about it 😟
There is also a shelf dedicated to short stories and fairy-tales for children. I remember when I really first fell in love with fairy-tales, where these were written into a folio book with colourful drawings of mermaids, witches, fishermen, and all the rest… but these had no happy endings, contrary to the princess and the pea, diamonds and toads (which I read in french), little one-eye, little two-eyes, and little three-eyes, Cinderella, and all the rest. I am certain that all of these  fairy-tales and fables have forged the views I have on the world, turning me into a more pensive person.
*I guess that I should  extend this paragraph into a blog-post.
The third shelf is dedicated to magazines of all kinds: lifestyle, fashion,

bookshelves.jpg
Two shelves out of Five

culture, health, nature. And now that I blog, these magazines are more inspirational than ever to me.

I wish that there was a crown over the top of my wooden bookcase, but you know, sometimes space and lack of time turns a thing meant for a special purpose into some kind of neglected all-purpose space. I also wish that it would stand into a room filled of enchanting visuals with a window regarding on an area filled of flowers, beside a lengthy marine-blue velvet sofa into which I would have been able to relax and evade into a good story, but what to say, instead, on top of the bookshelf, there is a small clock and shoe boxes filled of DVD’s. And as for the murals surrounding it, they are filled with my children’s scribbling and scrawling and other childish stickers.
Though how much I love looking at all of those fancy-bookcases-filled-with-books-of-all-sorts on Pinterest, I don’t think that I would personally have one of these large and scenic bookcases and bookshelves into my house, simply because I hate dust, and all of these little creatures that live inside the leaflets of books. Instead, with the advent of eBooks, I prefer adopt the digital lifestyle, which I think is best for this environmental-saving-era.
But surely one day I will put my bookcase into a beautiful area of my house, knowingly that it contains bits of my past and some dimensional-space-thought of individuals filled of artistry.
 
 
And as for you dear reader, of what is made your bookcase or bookshelf? As always, don’t hesitate to comment down below, whichever year this blog might have reached you.
Categories
Narrative Essays

My 36 Day Challenge Till Valentine’s Day

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Valentine season is around the corner

To create everyday, romantic poetic e-cards till valentine’s day

Last year, I planned to create a sort of collection in advance for the romantic valentine season, but guess what, it did not took shape, for I was still too busy with the in depth learning of creative writing. But this year, I have decided that I would challenge myself to create everyday, till the 14 of February, a collection of romantic poetic e-cards intended for free downloads, sharing, printing, or for romantic logophiles.
Again, I consider this challenge as some kind of extra creative leisure for me to be doing, so as to practice my own creative writing skill, and as well as exercising my graphical aesthetic aptitude.
But above all, my real intent is to effectively prepare myself towards the indiependentship pathway, which consists of setting myself into the niche that I have chosen. Like that, at least I know that I would have tried my very best by setting up a platform where I am able to properly publicise my books and other stuffs, while being prepared with contents and links to share and publicise through the vast optional online and offline free medium platforms.

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screenshot of the e-card I am making for today


Have to also say that, without the help of internet materials, I don’t think that I would have had the main idea of doing all of this, that is, bringing out-forth my abstract ideas till the creative process of what I am able to be doing right now, with thought of extending farther all of my online activities. I now can say that I know into which direction I am heading towards, though improvements regarding everything that wraps up my alt/brand/pen name, and as well as my written English still needs to be perfected.
Saying so, I am now leaving you to go create these romantic poetic e-cards, creative hobby that suits me so well.
And what about you? What challenges have you set your mind to? And as always don’t hesitate to comment, and this, from whichever future time-lapse you might be visiting this blog.     
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Narrative Essays

2018 Highlights Of My Online Activities

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Say Formulate your need and desires for 2019…

This year has been the year of all mistakes, challenges, changes, reflections, analysis, but also progress and rock solid self-determination.

Every end year I love to sit down and reflect on what I have been able to achieve for personal growth and advancement. And this year I can say that I am pretty proud of myself, which is something that I have not felt since long… you know, that feeling of self-determination that strengthen with each step made towards that dream or goal…

Of course, I had my loads of bad times, but I am not around to lose my time! I am here because I have a goal that needs to be achieved, so as for me to decide about what I will be doing next… the clock is ticking, and everyday the sound of it reminds me of the preciousness of each hour-time that’s lost.

So down below are some of the main points concerning my 2018 online and writing odyssey:

Deletion of my former blog ‘Lovelyricism’ on WordPress

Have to say that it is the stupidest mistake that I committed for this year. Almost 4 years of blogging and learning how to use this platform has been casted away into winds of oblivion.

Complete deletion of my former account ‘Christa Chn’

I don’t regret that I have deleted this account, I only regret my former Pinterest boards – lolll. Have to say that I was going through some mental disturbance during this particular period of time…

I have progressed a lot through the writing of my book

After I deleted my former accounts, I focused more seriously on writing my book, and I’ve been progressing through the bringing of my attention to those small details that I now bring out forth into my writings.

I had an urge to blog

Writing is a rather lonely act, where suddenly I felt an urge to blog, for I terribly missed this creative leisure.

New account: from Christa Chn-to ea.ki-to Eiravel

I wanted to change from Christa Chn to an alternative online name – one which fits my vision of the whole thing that I wanted to achieve, and thus I went for ea.ki. However I noticed that there was some kind of incoherence concerning the pronunciation and written form of the term that could confuse, and where in the long run this would not work in my favour into the bizsphere. Thus deletion and abandonment of ea.ki to the detriment of Eiravel – which is an anagram of my paper name.

I am also working on a poetry book titled ‘i-organel dreamscape’

I love to write poetry for a surplus of creative leisure, and all the bits of sentences I have written here and there happened to have taken the form of free-verses, so I thought, why not kill two birds with one stone (faire d’une pierre deux coups).

I feel a little bit more at ease in the digital space

Understanding geek and technical terms used across the digital-space has not been easy at all for me. I had to come back many time to the main points to be able to assimilate the contextualisation of what makes the basic of the web, where I now understand why this whole thing is coined as ‘web’ and ‘internet’. The way I personally interact with abstract representations has finally aided me more than I could have ever imagine. Perhaps it might appear odd to you, but my interest (not saying obsession) into the association of words and formulations, and as well as the abstract behind everything, has somehow help me through navigating more smoothly across the web-space.

Going Social again

After I deleted my former account, I lost many posts, so now alongside my blog, I will try to catch up again with my socials.
▅ So here were some main points of what I have achieved and also changed during this 2018, with high hopes that I am on the right track, while keeping my focus there where it should be. And where are you, digitally speaking… don’t hesitate to comment from wherever year this post reached you 😅 ▅
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Narrative Essays

A Change Of Name From ea.ki To Eiravel

If it’s confusing for me, then it would be confusing for you

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Scientifically, the sequences were not aligned for further information…lol

 
 
Recently I noticed that my online accounts were not consistent across the web, and this situation forced me to completely change my e-name all across the web. As you have once seen, this blog was named eakilog, and this was such because the sub-domain name for ea.ki/eaki was not available from the start. Not even the username for my gmail account… and it was quite a shock for me, for I thought that I had created a unique name – but it was clearly not the case. As for my Google account itself, the ea was far away from the ki, and for my social media accounts, I had chosen eaki.thoughts as username. And I realised that all of this would not favor me in the long run. And even though for my blog I found the solution of separating the ea from the ki with a dash, it still all seemed too confusing and disorganised for my own comprehension of things. So, in the end, I decided to change everything once and for all, and came up with another user/brand/alternative/pen name, through rearranging my real name into Eiravel (also I had to look at the inclusion of French/Creole language, where ea.ki sounded well in English, but a little bit too difficult, confusing, and unpretty to pronounce in these two other languages).

 

Thus, for these recent two weeks, I have been working hard (still not enough though) trying to migrate all of my former accounts to this new one. But unfortunately, during this process, I’ve lost most of the short stories and blog posts I have so hardly been writing on docs, meant to be uploaded on my blog.

Now, due again to some dumb mistakes of mine – as if I haven’t retained lessons about saving my contents on pen drives, or even by simply downloading my files on file explorer before making the jump of changing everything, and where now I find myself with a shortage of contents.

It’s such a heartache for me – but as someone who is doing it all in solo, I have to accept the fact that some things might completely go out of hands at any time, and that I need to remember that amidst it all, I need to keep a certain degree of positivism, so as to keep my focus towards the right direction.

I will again have to work extremely hard so as to catch up with my online, and as well as my external activities, to fill the agenda I’ve planned for this whole month. This complete reorganization has caused setbacks into the progress I wanted to make, but still, all of it was a necessity, for in long term, it would have caused confusions into the ways I personally proceed with things.

Though I have lost many of my works and made many mistakes, I do think that this year was a good one for me, for I have learned many things through testing, and came to conclusions that will surely help me progress more on the track I have chosen.

I also had to work a lot on myself, and I can say that most of my fear and as well as my paranoia concerning online matters have mostly been eliminated. To not physically see the environment I interact with is very difficult for me, but I’ve fallen in love with this environment the moment I stepped into it, and my new revealing side of the want to become a solopreneur is closely linked to the internet ecosphere.

Even though if it is very hard for me now, I know that with time things will slowly get better and easy — same as with the writing of my book. I just need to keep my flair and sanity cleared of all negative interference, and keep focus on my main plan.

So here I am, still on track, and with no intention of giving up — at least not until everything is setup as I want it to, and not until I really know if this gonna work. The schema I’ve planned is taking shape, and some of the main things that I had difficulty to understand at the beginning seems a little bit more clear to me now… and I guess that’s what counts the most through this particularly hard phase of this exciting journey.

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Narrative Essays

A typical day in the life of a stay@home mom that writes

“The fact that I am working towards materializing my dream makes me more enthusiastic about the future.”

5.10 a.m, the clock alarm on my nightstand signals me that it is time to get out of bed, but I am still tired, and the sun has not already risen into the sky. I don’t want to leave the comfort of his warm embrace, still, I have my duties, and mine start early on in the morning.

The moment I get out of bed, I exercise my mind to stay focus on my morning routine activities so as to not let idle thoughts get in the way, for I noticed that mornings without unnecessary thoughts were the most creative days for me. Also, I noticed that sustainable creativity stems from having a balanced mind – thing which is not easy to attain, but oh so necessary for any creators out there. For breakfast, I eat cereals, rusks, or bread, and drink a mug of tea typically Mauritian.

Sometimes while preparing family breakfast and school meal for the kids I let myself go, and listen to some music on the radio – but it became more rare within time because it distracts my mind. But still, I am happier when I listen to music, where some songs even strikes my inspirational chord.

Then at around 8, after I’ve put my two boys – aged respectively 9 & 7 years old into their school van –, I start doing my house chores, which lasts at least 1 hour to 1 hour 30 minutes. Also, lately I started again to walk at least 15 mins on my treadmill everyday, because too much sitting in front of my device does not make me lose the weight I have accumulated through the years, and which is now heavily weighing on my health.

Around 9.15/9.30, I start to write/edit, which I find as being the best time for me to be writing, because of the ambient tranquility that prevails during these hours, and around 11.30 I take a pause, eat, and watch television, all the while refining a little bit all of my social accounts.

In afternoons, I do things at random and go with the flow of how I feel – sometimes I take a nap, sometimes I continue writing for some extra hours, or at other times, I learn about how to use my free online materials, and at 2.15 p.m, I sign out. The remaining hours are devoid to reading, ironing, watching television, cooking, and my phone.

During holiday seasons, when the kids are at home, my writing time is significantly shortened. Right now, that’s what is happening – the children are at home and my everyday chores are being turned upside down. Even though I treat my writing time as if I am currently working, I can’t neglect my children’s education, especially when they have trouble in some of the subjects they learn. So, in the morning, I try to help them as much as I can with their learning, but even if at around 1 o’clock I try to free myself so as to write/edit, by then – I did so much talking, gave too much explanations, and went through all these incessant noises, that I feel drained of all my energy, which proves to be lethal to my concentration during the act of writing. So right now, I am thinking about if ever I should try to get a nap in the afternoon then get to writing at night, or else, get up earlier so as to write. I still don’t know for now how to do it, but I need to take a decision as soon as possible.

Though I have lots of responsibilities, I am sure that with time all those burdens will get lighter, alongside the length of time that I will be able to dedicate to writing – if ever I am able to make it.And as for you, how goes your day as a writer (amateurs or not)? Don’t hesitate to comment below, so as to discuss whatever floats your mind.

Categories
Narrative Essays

A Self Taught Adventure

A stay@home mum, who is learning-by-doing online

When I stopped working – due to a pregnancy nervous breakdown – I knew for sure that I needed to rethink my whole life and set sail into another career direction. Though I had many options: I formerly worked in sales, I have a diploma in secretary, I worked in a diamond factory, I worked as a part-time land hostess and waitress, and with a Human & Social Biology college grade, I could have considered a course in nursery – yep! I consider myself as a work nomad, and that is something that I am proud of – but unfortunately, all of these careers did not match with my new family lifestyle, for their work hours were not at all in accordance with the time my children went to school in the morning, and as well as the time they came back home in the afternoon. Not saying that most of these works are submitted to many stress factors. So, it had to be a 180° total change . . . a complete reconversion.

Then one day, I fell on an ad, where a web-based customer service company was recruiting stay@homies for training, all the while giving nice allowance and a job placement after completion of different levels of training. So I interestingly thought, This is a new challenge that would enliven again my determination, and light up my spark of passionate work, a little pocket money is always welcome, and the aftermath of this training will be a job at hand . . . well, am in.

However – and sadly for me –, I did not make it through that first level, and it was a failure that I didn’t digested well; for failure had never been an option for me in anything that I had attempted before. Though back then I was not at all acquainted to technological terms and tools, in my head, it was not at all normal for someone like me to not have made it to the next level, and as a matter of fact, I had to admit that I was still way too mentally fragile to even consider taking up another job.

Nevertheless, this little elsewhere escapade helped me understand and see, that I needed to upgrade my skills in basic computerisation – for as a matter of fact, most modern work revolve around computer based jobs. So, all the while taking care of my babies, and as well as working through my mild depression, I decided to learn on the go while being online, so as not to lose more of my precious time. Afterwards, I searched online for every types of possible work that web-based employers might be recruiting for, and started to learn on the go about some of the basics, where, this is how I fell into the e-writing sphere.

“For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them.” -Aristotle-

Moreover, while being on WordPress.com – the most creative and supporting community I stumbled upon online – I came to be inspired to blog, write poems, and take pictures on my own, until reminder that I always wanted to write a book. Nevertheless, writing a book is not something that is easy to do; not at all. Though my head had always been prone to daydream symptoms, I was not a writer with the necessary skills and aptitudes to write captivating books, for I never took any creative writing courses, nor had any advanced level of grammar.

Nevertheless, I had, and still have ideas. I was, and still is an analytic reader of great books. I loved, and still love penning down my thoughts – thus, I persevered, and still continue doing so – self-determined learning, for the freedom of thought it generates. I was fond, and still is, of new challenges that would make me blossom – so I said to myself: why not and plunged without an ounce of hesitation into the writing of my actual science-fiction and poetry book.

So, many writing(s), and mistakes, and re-writing(s), and mistakes, and crying, and dramas, and re-mistakes, and anger, and re-re-writing(s) later, I am now learning to edit on my own, and as well as being auto-critical of my own works. And all of this has been possible through learning on the go, and of course, assisted by web materials (for quick searches, edits, vocabs, storage, organisation) (and yes! if you don’t have enough audacity to learn on your own online, then please, take the safest route of seeking mentorship, or even take a course, or else, learn about your digital working tool before going further).

“I don’t love studying. I hate studying. I like learning. Learning is beautiful.” -Natalie Portman-

However, though I am working hard so as to finish writing my book (s), I am also learning-by-doing online, to do other things that I consider helpful into my new work reconversion – which would more probably be into the independent sector – for it seems that the entrepreneurship fever craze has got me too. And though it is a difficult route, have to say that this adventure has turned out to be one of my most crucial challenge, for on it, rests my whole future.

Some important tips when learning-by-doing online

Throughout these years, I learned through the hard way that your computer might be subjected to viruses or any other kind of digital threats, but also that as a non-tech-savvy experiencing with computerlogy, while not knowing what you’re doing, might bring about minor/major accidents within your personal computer system. If I had not saved my document on a USB Flash Drive, I would surely have no books being written actually.

Sadly, it was not the same for all the rest of my works, but now, I have well understood the lesson, and as often as possible I save my work on an external drive. If you are not tech-savvy, please, remember to save your precious works on a flash drive, or else, always keep the contact number of a good informatician/ethical hacker at hand, otherwise, if you’re a passionate technophile, take a course on computer programs so as to know in depth about your tech-tool.

And as for you, how did your self-taught adventure happened?

Categories
Narrative Essays

An urge to blog

Sketch of a book, mug, and smartphone

The urge was too strong

Today I felt as if something was missing in my main writing activities; and blogging suddenly appeared to me as the main activity that I needed to get into again (nope, it’s not my first blog, it is my third one). So, just like that (sur un coup de tête, as we say so well in French), I decided to plunge once again into this ocean of digital codes, to type about things that swing into my mind. Not that I am someone that loves to give away the things that are of personal issues, but I am much more of a person that wants to share an experience of the things that set my emotions into motion (for that is what ea.ki Eiravel represents – an experience, a journey).

I have to admit that writing like that on the go is something that I fear to do, for writing and editing precipitously can be done wrongfully, thereby, repelling all of these gleaming-eyed readers away from my writings. But then I thought, this whole thing is still in the hobby lane, so why not step into the blogging dance without stress, so, that is how I created on the go this account – and here I am, already at the end of finishing my first blog post.

Now all I have to do is blog whenever the urge to do so surges deep within my heart.

Who would have thought that my want to blog again would be that strong!… Surely not me.

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